B-U-S-Y

B is for books
U is for unicorn?
S is for SAT
Y is for YIKES!!!

Will it ever stop? Sometimes I want to pull my hair and scream. Sometimes I pull my hair, and it hurts, so then I scream.

Junior year is incredibly draining, I feel like I can't ever relax. Every week I slowly get by, there are hundreds of things to be done, studied, or rehearsed. Hundreds! And why is this year so terribly demanding? BECAUSE OF THE MAN!

AND, because this year actually matters! My first 15 years of life? Pssht! That was practice. This is the year to stop fooling around, and to get your act together. My actions today may or may not determine the rest of my life as a hobo, or the next Donald Trump, small Asian girl style, tomorrow. Will I spend the rest of my life talking to myself in a cardboard box? Or partying with preps in powder blue polos in the Hamptons? (if that's what you're into) Alright, it may not be as drastic as that. But still...

I am tired of applications, I am tired of practicing my scales, I am tired of the Official SAT Question of the Day, I am tired of trying (and failing) to understand the laws of physics, I am tired of trying to keep my social life semi-alive, and I am tried.

I know that I sound like an ungrateful brat who does not realize the opportunities dancing naked in her face. I get it. But trepidation is moving into my life at freakish Michael-Phelps speed. My anxieties are here to stay.

I guess I should just accept it, accept that these next few months will be shitty, yes, but that if I focus and put my mind to it, get through this okay. I don't know. I have to decide whether to be a whiner or a winner. I know which one I want to be, obviously. But it's not as simple as that.